Something Unexpected Is Happening

As I mentioned in my last post, I wrote a book.  The name of the book is “What Happened to Mommy’s Boobs?”  I wrote the book to help a friend going through breast cancer treatments.  The proceeds are going to breast cancer research.  I really wasn’t expecting much.  I figured if I was lucky, I’d make my friend laugh and raise 5 bucks for a good cause.  But now something is happening and I don’t know what to think of it.

Amazon has a section on their listings that says, “Customers who viewed this item also viewed.”  If you look at this section on my book’s page, it appears that people are stumbling upon my book while looking for pornography.  Part of me finds this to be very amusing.  I can’t imagine how disappointed they must be when they search for boobs and all they get is stick figures talking about breast cancer.  But, I also find it a little disturbing.  Boobs is in my book’s title because my friend suggested it, and it’s funnier that way.  I can assure you that pornography, or any sort of objectification, wasn’t in any way intended.  And, I think the disturbing thing is that I’m afraid of guilt by association.  If people see my book in with these other titles, they may get the wrong idea.

So, I think I’ll choose to be amused, but hope that more people will search for my book and also view some more wholesome titles.  Maybe a Dr. Seuss or Eric Carle book.  I’d be thrilled to be associated with them.

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Quotated

This is just a little experiment to see how to punctuate a quote within a quote within a quote within a quote and still have it be readable.  If anyone reads it, let me know what you think (about the punctuation):

 

Gene sidled into the writing center and saw Kerri. He approached her and said, “What’s the skinny? It seems you’ve started a game of telephone – purple monkey dishwasher.”

Kerri responded, “Shut up! You’re full of it! I di’int start nothin’!”

“Well, then explain this,” Gene said. “Last Monday, I sees Erik in the writing center, and I says to him, I says, ‘What’s up Daddy-O?’ and he says, ‘Prithee sit. I have a tale that will peak your curiosity, methinks.’ So I sit and he says, ‘On the eve of the new moon, Lady Jen approached me in a state of excitement. |What, praytell, has you so agitated?| I inquired. |I have strange and wonderful news about Sydney.| |Well, then, tell me your tale.| She began, |Last Thursday morn, my bosom friend, Kerri, and I were strolling among the good people of Hartford. It was a lovely morning, full of sunshine and promise. As we approached the gleaming exterior of Capital Community College, Kerri announced, _Ya know what I heard about Syd? She’s, like, all famous and junk._ _Indeed?_ I inquired. _Fo’ sho’,_ Kerri answered. _Ya know that song Sid’s Ahead? That’s about Sydney._Well, you can imagine I was surprised for I neither knew the song in question, nor did I know that Sydney was the subject of a song!|  ‘Zounds!’ I exclaimed, ‘That is strange and wonderful.’  ‘You’re pullin’ my leg’ I says to Erik.  ‘Unless you mean that it’s |strange and wonderful| that Jenny K. believed such a baldfaced lie.’  ‘That peculiarity is indeed the reason for my wonder.'”

A Daylight Savings Conversation with Me, My Ten Month Old Daughter and Our Cat

This is the conversation as it actually occurred.

Me: It’s time to go to sleep, sweetie.
Daughter: But, Father, it’s still light outside. Why must I sleep?
Me: Daylight savings started today. It’s your bedtime. And if you stay awake much longer, you won’t wake up on time tomorrow.
Daughter: Daylight savings? How can that be? We’ve not yet reached the Vernal Equinox.
Me: I know. Congress went and changed the rules a few years ago.
Daughter: Was that a good thing for them to do?
Me: I don’t think so.
Daughter: But didn’t Benjamin Franklin come up with the idea? He was a genius, so it must be a good idea.
Me: Even very smart people have bad ideas.
Daughter: I see. Well, I shall retire now if I must. See you on the morrow.
Me: Good night. Love you.
Cat: People are idiots.

This is what my wife says she heard.

Me: Please go to sleep.
Daughter: Baa ba da baa ba.
Me: I know daylight savings is stupid and you’re too little to understand, but please, please, please go to sleep.
Daughter: Weee ba da da baaa!
Me: Shhhh, go sleepy, go sleepy.
Cat: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
Daughter: Uh, whaa, whaa, whaa.
Me: Cat, shhhh. Are you out of food? No. You’re fine. Be quiet.
Daughter: Ummmm, whewhewheaaaa.
Cat: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
Me: Ben Franklin was a moron. I hate freakin’ daylight freakin’ savings.